I created this blog to keep friends and family current as to what Bryce and I--together--have chosen to do. He does not have the strength to make the phone calls, nor the desire to type a lot. This is my journal and Bryce's legacy to our baby, who will read this some day and know her that her daddy was fighting to spend at least one more day with her. She will gain an understanding and a glimpse into her sweet daddy's fighting spirit; one that has fought this and many other battles before and won. Were it not for his desire to fight until the last breath and not take "no" for an answer, I would not have had the privilege to meet him and become his wife. We would not have had our little girl, our little miracle, who was created despite medical advice and odds which were not in our favor. Our hope and our goal is for Bryce to read this journal to Dani one day.
The people posting the anonymous comments from previous messages are entitled to their opinion. Perhaps they have been wronged by one of us in the past. If this is the case, please accept my humble apology and know that we would never knowingly hurt another individual. Please understand I am not choosing to make my husband suffer. Our optimism in the face of trials is the driving force behind this. WE are fighting this disease, proceeding hand in hand, hearts united in love and faith, and relying upon my physical strength to pull us both through this. Bryce reads the messages on this blog and derives strength from the supportive, encouraging and loving sentiments from our friends and family. He thanks you for your advice and kindly asks that you not negate his decision to push through this. His motto, “We’re Killing Cancer”, is how he chooses to fight—one cell at a time, despite the odds that have been thrown before him. His favorite movie, “300”, is the perfect summation of Bryce’s spirit. “The world will know that free men stood against a tyrant, that few stood against many…We Spartans have descended from Hercules himself. Taught never to retreat, never to surrender. Taught that death in the battlefield is the greatest glory he could achieve in his life. Spartans: the finest soldiers the world has ever known…This—Is—SPARTA!”
Go get ‘em, Bryce. We’re killing cancer, and we’re salting those slugs. I am honored to be your wife.
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59 comments:
Tammy,
Go get them. Each cancer cell one by one.
Suzan
AMEN AMEN AMEN! Give it Hell kids.
Bryce and Tammy,
Tammy, words can not express how wonderful of a person you are. Your selfless actions, compassion and love for Bryce show the depth of your soul. Watching you sing to Bryce, hold his hand, speak words of encouragement, adjust his pillow, wipe the sweat from his brow and love him has been a sacred experience. Your strength is beyond any understanding.
Tammy, I have known Bryce for over 20 years. Bryce has never been happier, never been more loved, never experienced more joy, never been more cared for, than when he met you. I can tell when he talks about you that he loves and adores you. You are the best thing that ever happened to Bryce. Your example is without comparison. I want to be and will be a better spouse because I have been able to watch your selfless example, Tammy. I have told many, many people that I am so very impressed with you, Tammy. You are a simply incredible. You are an amazing woman and Bryce is so blessed to have you.
Bryce, we have enjoyed many fun and great experiences, especially during our teenage years. The name "Bryce Brown" has always brought a smile to my face. The world is and will continue to be a better place because of you. I have always felt, even during our teenage years, that we understood each other on a deeper level. I have always felt like I have known your heart, your personality, your soul, your thoughts, and I have loved you. I am a better person for knowing you and treasure our friendship. Keep fighting, keep being you.
Lastly, I want you both of you to know that I had a very sacred experience in Bryce's hosptial room yesterday when I visited. When I stepped into Bryce's room I could tangibly feel the love of God. I had an overwhelming feeling that God is aware of both of you, He knows your names, He knows your every thought, He knows every pain and discomfort that Bryce is feeling, He knows your every worry and concern, and He is present.
None of us know why you are experiencing this awful suffering. However, I DO KNOW, and I know you both know, that God lives, God loves you both, Jesus is our Redeemer, the Resurrection is real, salvation from our weaknesses and sins comes through the atonement, and that when this mortal life is over, that every pain, suffering, worry and hurt you are feeling now will be healed in the merciful and loving power of God. I wait for that day, and look forward to being there with you.
We love you and pray for miracles for you. You are in our thoughts always. Keep fighting, keep loving, keep believing, keep having hope. We would do anything for you.
With much love and concern,
John Barlow
Tammy and Bryce,
I am the mother of a 26 year young son who is fighting MM with all he has too. I post on MPIP as Linda(mom to John). John is fighting for a wife and 11 month old son. There are many parallels in our stories. Too many! We need to find out what is causing these strong young men to fall so quickly to the ravages of this disease. Through the networking of people like yourselves we will find therapies that work and be able to share them. John too has a heart tumor that the doctors say cannot be radiated because of the location. He has a back tumor too that is causing the most pain. He has had 3 brain surgeries, the last left him paralysed on the left side. He is regaining movement now and hopefully will start another systematic treatment soon. I share this with you because I want you to know there are others fighting as hard as you are. We will find a cure! I pray it will be in time for our warriors. I will be anxiously hopeful the radiation works for Bryce. My email is available on MPIP site if you ever want to cyber talk. You are in my daily prayers now too.
Dearest Tammy, Bryce, and Dani,
Tammy, I remember giving you a bath when you were just a newborn as if it were yesterday. I know I didn't imagine at that time that such a difficult trial would come into your life. But you are proving what I already knew--that you know and understand the teachings of the gospel of Jesus Christ that your parents have raised you with from the time you were born. You are passing those on so very lovingly to your husband and your daughter in the way that you are helping them through this difficult time. Heavenly Father is so pleased with the way you are spending "your turn on earth." I don't know if you know about that story "My Turn on Earth." It is about a little girl who comes to earth and has to find the treasure before she goes back home. Before she leaves heaven, all her friends and family say "Be sure to come back with the treasure." As we all know, that treasure is love. You, Bryce, and Dani, have all found that. Because of the experiences you are having, you will each be able to take that treasure back with you. Continue to be strong, be faithful, and loving to each other. Our Heavenly Parents are watching over you and they can't wait for each of you to return to them.
Love, Aunt Pam
Tammy I have to say how inspired I am by you. I don't know you, but I came across your blog on a friends website. I also realized in reading your blog that we have a connection. I grew up with Your aunt and Uncle (Rolayne and Kent) in Aurora, my family (Thiess) knows them very well... IT's a small world.
I hope you know that my husband and I pray for you and Bryce often. I was talking with my husband about your situation last night and told him how strong I think you are. I would fight too... May God continue to bless you with faith, strength, and peace.
Tammy and Bryce,
I have been posting as often as I can but have been reading everyday. I am from MPIP as well. I am a Stage IV single mom to a 4 and 5 year old boys 35 female. Bryce your strength and determination is so inspiring to me and I I wish people would understand why we don't want to give up and the pain that we live with. Tammy I cried looking at the pic of your garage door with all those hearts!!! I too belong to a fantastic church and an amazing mom's bible study. There is one last thing that I MUST SHARE WITH YOU BOTH AND BRYCE I HOPE YOU READ THIS PART. Last year our Mom's bible study group did a Beth Moore study and she talked about "God Stops" and I believe in those, you know when God stops in front of you and makes something happen to let you know he is there. Well he just made one for me telling me it was time to check in on you. I was cleaning off my scrapbook desk getting ready to work on a layout for a memorial album for another melanoma patient's family,anyway, as I was cleaning up my desk and organizing I came across this coin that had been given to me when we first learned that my Mel. had spread from stage I to stage IV and we were told I only had months, MONTHS left to live. I had a 1 year old little boy and an 8 week old baby boy and I was being told I had like 3 months that was it!!!! On one side of the coin it says"Share the Healing and the Hope and on the other side it has an angel on it.
Now....pay attention because this is what I want you to do right now and I am taking a huge risk here posting this information... Either Tammy or Bryce I want either one of you to call me ASAP on my cell phone I DON'T CARE WHAT TIME IT IS WHEN YOU READ THIS my cell phone number is (570)977-9757 AND I WILL OVERNIGHT THIS MEDAL OUT TO YOU!!!!
YOU HOLD THIS MEDAL BRYCE DON'T LET GO OF IT HOLD IT WHEN YOU ARE SICK HOLD IT WHEN YOU ARE SLEEPING HOLD IT WHEN ARE DOING WHATEVER AND DON'T LET IT GO MAN DON'T LET IT GO DO YOU HEAR ME!!!!!!!!!! Please call me so I can get it to you!!!!!!!!!
I will continue my prayers for all of you..
In Christ,
Christine U
Bryce has much to live and continue fighting for, especially with wife and daughter as great as you two.
My hope and thoughts continue to be on you all.
Jeremy
Them grilled cheeses look nummy. Looking at them makes me want to go make one.
Tammy,
You and your families are in my thoughts each day. I keeping thinking about what a spunky person you are. You have never turned down a fight and have never given up. You are truly an example to me of how to "endure well" life's challenges.
Thank you for showing me and everyone else how to fight a battle even when it appears hopeless. I'm grateful that you take any sliver of hope and build into a towering pillar for all the world to see.
I am rooting for you Bryce. I believe in miracles and believe that all things are possible in God. If it's His will for you to live, then it will be.
I'm grateful to have you, Tammy, as a friend through all of these years. We may not see each other much and I don't even know Bryce very well, but I have never forgotten you.
Just keep doing what you are doing. I'll be with you all of the way
Nikki
Hi Tammy,
I came by yesterday. Bryce was getting his vitals checked by the nurse who so lovingly woke him from his slumber. Not lovingly really! I hate it when they wake you up!!! Anyhow, I was kinda nervous about coming in and what to say and stuff. I walked in and felt so at ease with the feeling in the room. There is love, lots of love up in there! I don't know Bryce really but he was so nice about being bugged by just about a perfect stranger. I put my hand on his shoulder and just let him know that we were thinking about you guys everyday and praying for your family. We really do love you guys and your courage is inspiring to us! Stay strong but also know that it is alright to be afraid and scared and sad. I know this because of what my mom went through with her metastatic breast cancer.
Thank you for keeping us posted on your battle! In the words of our dear friend Beth P...
GO!!!
FIGHT!!!
WIN!!!!
xoxo,
Susie Duenas
Dearest Tammy, Bryce and Dani:
Melanie and I, and Rob and Kathleen, and our daughter McKenzie read your blog every day.
We talk about what we've read every day; we think about you every day; we pray for you every day; we cry with you every day; we admire and respect you every moment and we're amazed and inspired by your tenacity, your faith, your resiliency, and the depth of your love for each other.
When we first read about those people who have the audacity to speak disparagingly of your faith as well as your approach to this devastating disease on your own blog, we were at first furious. As we thought further, our anger turned to compassion for those who haven't learned to fight for the things that are most worthwhile in life. Perhaps in spite of their unfortunate comments, they may discover something of value here.
We wish that we could be there with you, if only for a moment, to give you hugs and kisses and express our love for you, but this simply cannot be. Nor would we want to disrupt this most important and sacred time for you to be together as a family.
From Melanie: I want you to know, Tammy, that I have always considered you to be one of the most special people to me in the world. You are now demonstrating overtly those qualities that certainly have drawn me and many many others to you, including that handsome young man that you hold dear as your husband.
Bryce, I want you to know that my heart is breaking inside. I think that you are the absolute perfect companion for Tammy. You have lived through so much in such a short time and I deeply admire your relentless fight.
With our deepest and most heartfelt love,
Jim and Melanie
Normal people + the anonymity of the internet + an audience = Loss of empathy and humanity.
Perhaps it's time to either turn off comments or make them by invitation only?
I can't believe people would choose this blog, of all places, to pick a fight with Mormonism.
To those anonymous it would be kind if you could refrain from your talk about religion towards them regardless any religion (as many of our frinds seek their own faith) we are here to support Tammy, and Bryce in what they choose to do with the trail placed before them, as stated in the blog this is for there young daughter, one day she will be able to read and understand the wonderful father she has been blessed with, I hope you can find it in your hearts to stop attacking these people as all they are doing to keeping us informed of the daily battles they are facing.
Ok. I hurt for their battles and I wish them nothing but the best. I do not believe people should post their religious junk here because many do not agree with other religions other than Christianity. It's the only true religion.
Tammy & Bryce,
Wow, what a great support group you have. It's truly a blessing to have so many people who love and admire you. That is what gets us through these terribly hard times, along with Heavenly Father's loving arms. I loved what one of your previous postings said (from John B) "He knows your names, He knows your every thought, He knows every pain and discomfort that Bryce is feeling, He knows your every worry and concern, and He is present." It's so very true and what a beautiful thing to know. I can testify of that, as I've been through it. He knows your heart and you can be assured that he is with you in that room and he will help you through this.
When Gordon was sick so many people told me that they couldn't believe how strong I was and I remember thinking "why?" He's my sweetheart. I'll do anything I have to do... Well, now, watching you and Bryce I see two other sweethearts that are doing what they have to do. And I must say, Tammy, that looking from the outside I do admire you for your strength and courage. You are an inspiration to many. You will find out, as I have that you are buoyed up by the spirit. That doesn't mean you won't be sad and cry, be frustrated, be angry, be confused, it just means that he'll help you stand through it all.
I hardly know either of you, but I can say honestly that I love your family. From the first step inside your home, I felt an instant bond with you. Bryce reminds me a bit of Gordon. He truly is a warrior and you, Tammy are his Princess. Remember, one foot in front of the other... I'm praying for you always.
Sally M & Gordon too!!!
My sweet friends,
I am honored to know you! Tammy you are providing a daily lesson for those around you of how to face life's challenges head on with grace and style. I have come to know Bryce as one of those truelly good, kind and loving men and I am so happy that you found him! I have hope that years from now, we will all sit around a table telling stories that begin with "remember when". My thoughts and prayers are with both of you.
-Mandi
People are so insensitive sometimes. Don't encourage them by responding to their comments. It would just be best to screen them. I can't believe they would pick such a forum to rant and rave against Mormons. Even though I myself am not Mormon, I'm still holding Bryce and his family in my hopes. I've bookmarked this blog and I'm checking daily. I cross my fingers everyday hoping for some good news and one of these days there will be! Keep on fighting Bryce!
Tammy,
It was nice talking to you !!! Don't forget to email me with the addy.
Sending lots of hugs!!!
love Christine U
As an MPIP-er I want to send prayers and admiration for the strength and love you two have.
BRYCE! BRYCE! BRYCE!
Keep up the fight, man...you gotta get back home to meet the new K9 (Rolf). He's had an informal meeting with Leelu (sorry for the spelling)...she snuck into the yard, stood on the backporch, and scared my dad.
My dad thought he was seeing things...then he remembered Rolf was in the yard and became very concerned for the little dog. But Leelu's quite the quick little dog, and got back to the safe zone of your yard. When dad told me the story, I laughed and said, "That's Leelu...what color was she?" I always remember her pink dye job. Dad laughed, and said you & Tammy were very nice to him and my Mom when they stopped by to check on my home the last 2 years.
You fight on, Bryce. I've been pulling for you from the moment I heard about your health. You, Tammy and Dani are in my thoughts and prayers daily. Mom & Dad send their best wishes and prayers your way, too. Hurry home, Bryce. I miss my neighbor very much.
--Michelle
Woof, woof, woof!!! (Hurry home, Bryce! I can't wait to meet you!)
Ggggrrrrr...(Fight, fight, fight, my brother!)
Rrrr, wooof! (I love chasing the little dog!)
--K9 Rolf
Hi Tammy and Bryce~
This is Kathleen and your Uncle Robbie. We are thinking of you and speaking of you all the time. We have been sending up prayers for you, prayers of love and further strength and wisdom. We are so sorry for what you are facing. Keep up the fight, you really seem to have something special. Neither of us have had the chance to meet you Bryce, but we can see what an amazing bond the 3 of you have as a family. Be strong...We love you. Robbie and Kathleen
Hi Tammy and Bryce~
We have tried 3 times now to write you a message, apparently we are a little slow on this blog posting thing...we think and speak of you ALL the time and we are so sorry for the trials you are facing. We are amazed by your strength and courage. Though we haven't had the chance to meet you Bryce, we are so moved by your fight to live and Tammy...what an incredibly strong woman you are. Keep it up, you two really have something special and it is so obvious. We love you and will continue to send up prayers of strength and courage on your behalf. WE love you. Robbie and Kathleen
Hi Bryce-a-roni
This is Liz Hubrich Killpack from Idaho. I'm not sure you remember me but, you and I went to Oak Hills Elementary together many years ago. I remember calling you Bryce-a-roni; and was not suprised when your name was mentioned to me as one of Becky and Rodger Holgreens friends. I haven't known you for a long time, but what I know of you still must be true; You always find great friends and make everyone smile. Becky ran into a picture of your brother Bryan and my little sister Monica, when she was feeding your cats. She called to see if I knew you and instantly memories came flooding through my mind. I even have met your darling wife Tammy at the 4th of July breakfast, with Rodger and Becky. I've heard all about the awesome Cindy Lauper concert and now, here I am writing to let you know that you are in my prayers. My heart aches for you and your lovely family. It broke to hear that you were facing such a trial. I am glad to hear that you are fighting for every minute of your life. My prayer is that you will have a miracle. You couldn't have better people surrounding you now!! Love them, every second. Your blog is a wonderful place for others to read about what blessings they have in their lives, and help you recognize the blessing you have in yours. Keep up the fight Bryce-a-roni, the Lord loves you. Take care...All my prayers Lizard
Hello,
You don't know me, but I have been keeping up with this blog for awhile now. I just wanted to say how brave I think both of you are. I am so sorry that you are dealing with this; I admire you so much. I am thinking of you, Bryce, and wishing you the best health possible. Keep fighting - life is definitely worth fighting for.
-Leslie
Tammy, I have been following your melanoma journey on MPIP, and I am so very sorry that you and your family have to deal with this evil disease. We lost our 29-year-old daughter Jaime to melanoma in March, and much of what you report from the hospital I have already lived. I know how scared and desperate you feel, but keep that positive spirit and keep fighting. We also had problems with controlling Jaime's pain but we finally called in a pain management specialist who put in a type of epidural. I also know what a physical strain this is for you -- not eating or sleeping along with the emotional stress -- but it sounds like you have a wonderful support system. Just know that there are lots of people out here in cyberland who are thinking of you and wishing things could be "normal" again for you. Take care and try to stay strong.
Dear Bryce,
I don't know you, in truth I barely know Tammy or her Dad, but I read this blog daily to follow your progress and have you in my thoughts always. Your courage & positive attitude inspires me. You are a good man who deserves many great things.
Dear Tammy,
I am so sorry that rude posts have been left. There is someone with too much time on their hands and no heart. I want you to know how much I appreciate you letting me read this blog each day to follow Bryce's progress. I hope that the chemo and radiation from Thursday were not too rough on him and that he is starting to bounce back. You astound me with your patience, faith, kindness to others who may not be so nice.....Hang in there.
As always I send all my love,
Jamie Newman
Tammy & Bryce:
You two are so strong willed that you can and WILL fight this beast!! We want you to know that we think about you, shed tears with you and pray for you often. We LOVE YOU !! Stay strong.
Justin & Maile
Bryce,
I'm praying and pulling for you and looking forward to the day that we see you on the links again!
Please know that we are all thinking of you!!!!
Steve Willes
Dear Bryce, Tammy, and Dani,
I'm so proud of you! You are fighting a good fight and in the process are touching many lives. It's too bad that a few anonymous cowards don't have the courage that you have. I'm proud of you for showing compassion to them in their ignorance and lack of manners. As for trashing the Mormons--we've endured that for many years, and it has not ever deterred us in our faith.
Hang in there, because you have the biggest support group behind you and we are all praying for you. Thank you so much for sharing the progress with us. Tammy, remember when you wrote the story in scripture-style about the Land Bountiful and all the cats? Well, I knew way back then that you were a talented writer. But, I have been so impressed with the messages you have sent. You need to get published!! I'm also impressed with all the very kind words that your friends and family have written. I never knew there were so many ways to express compassion and love. Well, I'm just going to say it this way--I love you, and am praying constantly for you. Love, Aunt Barbara
bryce --
i've never had the pleasure of meeting you, so one of these days we definitely must. ;) i remember the first time tammy mentioned you to me. it was in the gibby (ask her where the gibby is, if you don't already know :) ) and i hadn't seen in her a while. and there was just so much for us to catch up on. one of the first things she brought up was this new man in her life . . . .
"oh, yeah?" i asked her, interested. "what's he like?"
and she proceeded to give me your name, how you guys started dating, and all this great stuff about you.
and then i asked, "is he hot?"
and her eyes looked skyward and she exclaimed "yes!"
that's when i knew that this new guy she'd found (you) would be totally awesome for her. her eyes were lit up in a way i had never seen before, and she looked excited -- and just happy.
tammy and i have lost track a bit since those good ol' days in the gibby. but i love this girl to pieces, and i know only a wonderful guy could be with such a spectacular girl! this blog just proves it all-the-more to me. you two have a love that can defy anything, especially lame loser larry!
i hope i get to meet you one of these days. but i think tammy's kept us from meeting each other on purpose, to protect you from me. i might have a bit of a potty mouth, you see, and am not fit for normal company. ;) but i will do my best to beg her to let me meet you the next time i'm in utah, and hopefully she'll finally relent. :)
anyhow, keep up the good fight! my thoughts are with you, tammy, and little dani every day. and i know all this positive energy all of us are sending to you will blow this slug out of the water!
thy
Bryce and Tammy
Jane from Maine in NC here from MPIP and Operation sun shield.
You demonstate such strength and loving hearts. Charge on with life and please know angels arms are wrapped around you 24/7
I envision strength and courage beating in your hearts.
You are loved and hopefully this small word helps you journey through yet another day.
Hugs
Jane
Bryce and Tammy-
It's hard to think of something to say that has not already been said by the people on this blog who love and support you. When reading the words of support and encouragement, I think "yeah! what they said!" over and over.
It is amazing how many lives you have touched. Your words, your love, and your lives should be an example of each and every one of us. You've taught me how to be a better person, and that's a lesson I will carry with me for the rest of my life. I look forward to passing it on someday.
Over the last few weeks, I've wondered where do you get your strength to carry on, and keep your heads high? Where is your drive to continue the fight coming from? Trying to put myself in your position, I questioned if I would be able to fight as valiantly. Until now, I had doubts. You both are proof of the power and warmth and light that love will bring. It empowers you to do amazing things, and it doesn't even stop there. It spreads to everyone around you too.
Now you know I am not a person who goes to church every week (or month for that matter), however, I do pray for you. I know God is in control, and I feel his love and see his miracles everyday.
I think about you guys all the time. You are in my thoughts and prayers... and recently my dreams too (for some reason I remember most of my dreams). Thank you for bringing this blog to us. It is a privilege to be able to see into your hearts, and to have the opportuinty to respond with encouragement.
Keep going. Keep strong. You two are amazing... I don't any other way of putting it. I am truly honored to be your friend.
-Dave and Carrie
If you need to talk, my cell is (edited for privacy and forwarded to tammy). I have 2 verses that I hope me, I hope they help you: Mark 11:24 - Therefore, I tell you whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you will receive it and it will be yours.
Matthew 19:26 - With God's help. All things are possible
Hugs to your family,
Suzan
Tammy and family,
My heart aches for you as you face this uncertainty. My husband is also stage 4 melanoma (35 years old) and very sick. I am scared everyday if we are making the right decision to keep putting Brian through so much, to keep prolonging his suffering. He has been through so much, as you have seen with Bryce and this evil disease. We pray for guidance to know if and when we should stop. To me, that is a very private thing between you and Bryce, and I am very sad to see that others have posted their discouraging comments during your lowest point. Please ignore those comments and gain strength from those who encourage and support you. Brian has promised me to keep fighting until he feels his body is worn out. We have young children, as with your little one. Brian continues the fight by his own choice, because he wants our kids to know that if he doesn't make it, he went down fighting with all his might. He wants them to really know how much he wanted to spend the next 50 years with us. No one else can really say how they think something should go. It is personal. And I have promised to love him and support him during the fight, and to love him to Heaven if the time comes to stop fighting.
Just focus on how much you love him. That love will help ease his suffering during this pain.
I will keep you all in prayer during this difficult time.
Jenni
Bill G from MPIP here
I admire Bryce's determination to fight come what may. His adoption of the Spartan code resonates with me. When diagnosed I was given less than 25% odds for 5 year survival. I too compared myself to the heroic Spartans and advised my family/friends I intended to be in the 25% or die trying, trying to the very end. In my case it seems to have worked, so far at least. I will be NED 10 years the first week in Sept.
Go get em, Bryce!!
Tammy,
Just want to send you and Bryce a cyber HUG and let you know I was praying all night !!!
Love,
Christine U
Bryce, Tammy, and Dani
We are thinking about you all the time and are amazed at the faith and strength in all of you. We will tell Dani stories about her dad each time her and Lucy get together to play.
We love you
JJ, G-spot, and Lucy
Dear Tammy,
With such a beautiful, sweet wife and darling baby, how could he not want to fight? I lost my husband to this disease, and he fought till the last moment. How could he do anything but, with a family he adored and wanted to be with? He, too, had an example of battle he felt was his own. He had been a Marine, and the Battle of Belleauwood from WWI was what he grabbed hold of. "Retreat? Hell, we just got here." It was a horrible battle that few made it out of, and was where the Marines got the name "Devil Dogs" for their ferocity.
Tim knew he was in the fight of his life, a fight where the odds were against him, but never did he feel he could do anything but fight. It was not in him to do anything but face the battle - so it could not be in me to do any less, either.
With all my heart I hope for the best for you all. Because you love him so - you will have the strength you need to do all that is set before you.
Valerie in AZ
I came accross another quote I wanted to share with you:
"The spirit, the will to win, and the will to excel are the things that endure. These qualities are so much more important than the events that occur." Vince Lombardi
J. Scott Burris
Tammy & Bryce...
go to my blog to hear this song. Here are the lyrics until you can watch and listen. Hear the words as if God himself is singing them to you...from that day ahead ALREADY ON THE CALENDAR...that awaits your arrival. The day of life and wholeness and healing and dreams come true that we spoke of on the phone.
That day already exists. Just like the hotel room one reserves...the bed is already made and just awaiting your arrival. Don't give up. You're on your way to that blissful day already in existence, prepared for you...and awaiting your arrival. Until then...believe what you hear in that conduit that exists between you both...and your God. I believe it would sound a little something like this song.
R
Don’t give up
It’s just the weight of the world
When your heart’s heavy, I
I will lift it for you
Don’t give up
Because you want to be heard
If silence keeps you, I
I will break it for you
Everybody wants to be understood
Well I can hear you
Everybody wants to be loved
Don’t give up
Because you are loved
Don’t give up
It’s just the hurt
That you hide
When you’re lost inside, I
I’ll be there to find you
Don’t give up
Because you want to burn bright
If darkness blinds you I
I will shine to guide you
Everybody wants to be understood
Well I can hear you
Everybody wants to be loved
Don’t give up
Because you are loved
You are loved
Don’t give up
It's just the weight of the world
Don't give up
Everyone needs to be loved
You are loved
Tammy...go to my blog. There's something waiting for you there. Hear the words as if God himself is singing them to you and Bryce.
You are loved.
R
I stumbled upon your blog for the first time today and I was touched by your strength, courage and love for each other. You are truly an inspiration to anyone struggling with this awful disease. Wishing you all much love and healing. God bless xx
Dear Tammy and Bryce,
My daughter had melanoma and looked healthy and beautiful most of the time so no one ever thought she was really sick.
You are in my prayers and in my heart. I wish I could do more for you.
~Olivia~
Hi Tammy and Bryce,
I'm glad that I got to spend a few minutes tonight with you at the hospital. There was such a peaceful, sweet feeling in the room. And Dani is the most adorable baby ever!
I was uncomfortable at first and Bryce broke the ice with his smiling face and hearty welcome. He is determined to be the 1% that beats this thing. What a fighter! How couldn't he want to fight like a warrior with his precious wife and baby by his side?
Tammy, you are one amazing woman... I am awed by your strength. I hope I am never called upon to be as strong as you are right now....
I saw something different tonight than I've seen in you before...I saw the fright, the sadness, the love, and the hope for a brighter day all rolled into one look.
May all of your friends continue to be the "light" for your family. May we shine so bright that we dazzle you!
The love that you and Bryce and Dani share can never be taken...it is always there!
Love, Barbara
Bryce, Tammy, and Dani,
Though we have never met in person, I cannot stop thinking about what we could possibly do for you. We spoke on the phone the other day about bringing dinner in, if that helps you remember who I am. Josh and I have been praying for you from the moment we found out about your struggles. I believe I truly understand what it means to have a prayer in my heart always. You are on our minds and we are pulling for you.
Please feel free to call on us whenver necessary. If you are absolutely SICK of hospital food, please call me. I would love to sneak something tasty in!!!! Or if Dani needs someone to play with for a little while, again, please call. I know you have a lot of people helping out, but if there is the smllest thing we can do, we'd absolutely LOVE to.
We may not have ever formally met, but please don't let that stop you from calling on us for anything you need.
Our prayers are with you all day long, and we know that the Lord is near. Best wishes, and I admire you both so much for being so strong and so determined!!!!
Keep hanging in there, and please, anytime you need anything please just call.
~ Josh and Katie Higbee (VV9th)
Tammy and Bryce,
Just as we do every night Jeff, the girls and I were saying our prayers before going to bed. The girls were pretty cranky and tired and we just wanted to get them to bed. It was Ayanna's turn to say the pray with a little help from mom. Just as we were about to say our Amens Ayanna said "And please bless Tammy and Bryce." Everyday we have been praying for your family, but last night with the girls being so cranky we were just hurrying through it. I had completely forgotten to ask our Heavenly Father to be with you. (Even though I know he is. But you can beat me for it later :) ) I just wanted you guys to know that we are thinking of you always and that even our little girl has a special prayer in her heart for you. Jeff can tell you that there isn't a day that goes by that he doesn't see me coming out of our computer room with tears in my eyes after reading your blog. Your strength, faith, and love is such an inspiration to us. It makes me want to be a better wife to Jeff, a better mother to my children, and better daughter to our Heavenly Father. We love you guys so much. Keep on fighting!
Many of us in your MPIP family are thinking of you and praying for you and hurting deeply for you. I hate that Bryce is in pain - I can't imagine how hard it is for you Tammy.
I hate this disease and wish none of us had ever had it enter our lives. But the battle you two have waged has been intense and the love you share and the family you have created will endure, regardless.
Love,
Amy
Tammy,
My wife has stage IIIB MM and thankfully is NED. We've followed your fight via MPIP.
What an inpiration you and your husband are to your daughter (and family). I don't shed many tears but I did reading your about your love, strength and struggle.
My wife is the tough one in my family. Like others have said, I wish there was something I could do, other than just words. Although God and I don't always agree, and I've used more than my share of prayers, tonight at dinner your family will be in our prayers.
With warmest hugs,
Duke (Husband of Darcy, IIIB)
Your post here is absolutely beautiful. I wish you strength and peace in this trial. I can't even fathom how difficult this must be, and hope you are able to stay strong for each other.
Tammy, Bryce and Dani,
Bless all of you for your love and strength for each other. Miracles happen and the Lord will bless you for your faith. This was my dad's favorite scripture when he was receiving chemo, may it also bring your family peace and may you feel the love of all those supporting and praying for you --
"My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment; and then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes. Thy friends do stand by thee, and they shall hail thee again with warm hearts and friendly hands." D&C 121:7-9
Tammy and Bryce,
It's been very hard for me to put into words my feelings about what you are going through. I just can't even imagine the thoughts and emotions that you are experiencing at this time.
About 10 years ago, Roger was diagnosed with a Stage 2 melanoma. We caught it early but I remember being so scared during the time between seeing our PCP and the surgeon. I went to Church that Sunday and couldn't concentrate--I just bawled and bawled. Now I read your blog entries and I bawl and bawl because of the pain and anguish you are suffering now.
I have to say how impressed I am with your courage and strength. Tammy, you are one remarkable woman, but then I knew you would be from the day you were born.
I remember the first time I met you, Bryce. You came into her life when she was going through a tough time. I liked you immediately. I knew that you were put into Tammy's life to make her complete. Then with Dani's birth, your family is complete. I enjoyed seeing you in February. You have such a cute house and it is decorated so cute. I feel so honored to be part of your family.
I'd like to say thank you to all of the MPIPers and others who have sent so many kind and heartfelt words to you. I'm so glad that Tammy has those extra prayers and support.
Please know that we send our love and prayers to you. Not a moment goes by that we don't think of you. Heavenly Father is mindful of your needs and is watching over you always. Keep the faith, both of you.
Love,
Aunt Elaine and Uncle Roger
Tammy-
Even though we are cousins who were always far apart in age, I always looked up to you. You were so much fun to be around. I always had a blast when you were around. We didn't get to spend nearly enough time together the last time I was up in Utah but you looked so sassy in that red hat! Jake and I have been reading your blog daily and we too are sending so many prayers to our Heavenly Father in your behalf. I admire your strength and determination and the wonderful people you are. Tammy- I know I have no idea what it feels like to be going through what you are...but, I keep thinking what I would feel like to be in your shoes and I sob like a baby. I know you are a very strong woman to be going through this. Bryce-
I've only had the pleasure of meeting you a couple of times but I am so glad that you were there for Tammy when you first met to help her through some tough times. From what I've read on the blog, I feel like I have been gettting to know both of you so much better and I admire who you are. Keep up the fight. We love you and are praying for you.
-Love,
The Hughes Family
(Jake, Kacy, and Joslyn)
Tammy and Bryce,
I have called and emailed you Tammy just today and left you a voice mail. The coin is en route to the hospital right now and should be there by 12:30 tomorrow (Tuesday). Hold on Bryce it's coming !!!!!
I have been thinking about you guys all day and praying for you!!!!!
Christine Uprosky
Tammy and Bryce:
Shayla and I want to send our love to you both. I want to tell you thanks for helping me get through our big trial. It was great to talk to you Tammy as you were the first person that I saw when I got to Salt Lake when Shayla was flown down from Idaho. I know that family is what is so important and that it can help. I wish that I could return the favor some how to you guys. Shayla and I are praying for you and hope that you will come closer together has we have. We know that God loves everyone of his children and is aware of their needs. I know that everything is for our eternal good and that we need to grow from every experiance whether great or small. I know what it is like to have the doctors say that your spouse doesn't have a chance or wont live through the night. But what got me through is the knowledge that we can be together forever as long as we are faithful to eachother and to the Lord. This life is so short and we can be together again. I am so proud of your courage and faith. May God bless you with peace and comfort. We love you both so much.
Never give up on the Lord!
Tammy and Bryce,
Shayla and I send our love and support. May the Lord bless you. Here is a hug from the both of us. Stay true to the Lord. Have faith. You both are awesome.
Bryan and Shayla Patterson
Dear Tammy,
It was so great to see you and Bryce Sunday! When we left the hospital Sarah said, "Mom, you know the sign we have that says HERO? We need to
give it to Tammy and Bryce because they are HERO'S!" (Out of the mouth of babes).
You really do amaze me with your strength, courage and wisdom. You are mature beyond your years! I applaud your efforts to continue the fight
against all odds!
Our first little boy was born with an under developed brain stem. There was no explanation as to why this defect occurred. The only home he
ever knew was at the hospital in the New Born ICU. After his first short four weeks of life, with no positive change in his condition, we
were strongly encouraged to take him off life support.
I'm sure the medical staff meant well. I have no doubt that they all had a much better knowledge and understanding of the situation than I
ever could. I'm also sure in their mind the best answer medically was very clear cut. BUT... it wasn't their little boy who might never speak the words ma ma or da da. It wasn't their little boy who might never fall and scrape his knee or pull his sisters hair. It wasn't their little boy who might never ride a bike or throw his first football or reel in his first fish. IT WASN'T THEIR LITTLE BOY!!!!
For the next two weeks we made sure that every attempt was made in an effort to help him support his own life. As the days slowly rolled by we sensed great frustration on the part of the medical staff as to our hesitation to accept what they had anticipated the final outcome to be.
We, however, were committed to fight to the end!
I will share with you a truly miraculous thing. Two weeks later we said good by to our little one and laid his precious body in the ground. We experienced deep sorrow and many tears were shed over the lose of this young life. Despite the sadness, there was however, an overwhelming
feeling of peace in heart and mind! We had done ALL in our power that we could do! There were no regrets, no looking back wishing we had done
something more. There were no "What if"'s!
YOU continue the fight no matter what the others say! It's between you, Bryce and the Lord. I believe in YOU! I also believe with all my soul that if you follow your heart and the guidance of the spirit you will have ETERNAL peace, no matter what the outcome!!! Not a questioning heart full of "what if"'s!
Tammy, I love and adore you with all my heart! You truly are my HERO!!!! Continue the fight! We're all behind you 100%! I am honored to be your friend!!! GO, FIGHT, WIN!!!!
Sending love, hope, courage and strength your way, Beth:)
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