The last time I was able to post anything was 2 nights ago, when Bryce was coughing up blood. I spent the remainder of the night watching him sleep. Dad called the pulmonologist early in the morning and told him about Bryce’s bleeding, and he said to come in “right now” for another bronchoscopy. Nic rushed over to pick up Dani, and Bryce and I went to LDS hospital.
Roger and Jeen, Bryce’s parents, met us at the hospital. As Bryce was prepped for his procedure, Dr. Pearl explained to us that Bryce’s coughing up blood could mean one of two things: either the tumors removed from his lungs three weeks ago were growing back and bleeding, or tumors had breached the wall of a major blood vessel(s) and he was bleeding internally. If it turned out to be option two, we would lose Bryce almost immediately.
We had to say our FINAL goodbyes (in case he didn’t make it) to Bryce just before he went back to have his bronchoscopy. Roger and a doctor gave Bryce a priesthood blessing. Bryce and I stared into each other’s red, teary eyes and wept. We were all so terrified, yet there was nothing we could do.
The three of us went to the gift shop(where Roger bought me a stuffed pig that snores and mutters something about a “big bowl of slop”), then we went to the meditation room and waited. What could we say? Our son and husband might not live through the day, and that thought hit us hard. A lot of tears were shed.
Finally, we heard from Dr. Pearl. Bryce’s previous tumors had been bleeding, and a new tumor had appeared and completely clogged one of his Bronchi, which also was bleeding. Is it wrong to be happy about lung tumors? What a relief…
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6 comments:
Tammy you don't know me but I have been following ya'lls blog. I read about it from the MPIP Bulletin Board. We are in the same place as you are. My husband was told he had Stage 4 in April and 3 to 6 months to live. Our blog is www.kschallam.blogspot.com. He beat the 3 month mark, so we keep going. His tumors are in the liver. My prayers are with you and your family. Stay positive and I know that isn't easy.
Suzan Hallam (sdhallam@bellsouth.net)
Bryce and Tammy, Our prayers and thoughts are constantly with you. You are very loved. I am keeping positive thoughts and praying for faith. Your pictures are beautiful and very uplifting. Dani will always treasure the pictures with her parents that show how much she is loved. I can't imagine the mental torture you two are going through. I am so grateful to hear your positive cancer killing comments. We love you. Aunt Wendy
Oh honey. You are loved. And greatly cared and prayed for. You are fit for the battle. You are fit for the battle. You and Bryce. Keep it up knowing a prayer army is rallying in your behalf.
R
Tammy,
I follow your blog almost everyday and sadly share this same disease with your husband. I am 35 stage IV and have recently started with the same cough that prompted Bryce's doctors to have the chest x-ray done.My mom's bible study group has been praying everyday for all of you!!! Please know that we are all with you and Bryce and Dani. When I was at my appintment today and I told my Onc how hard it was being a survivor of this beast he looked at me and said "I can only imagine Chrstine what it must be like for anyone living with this disease." he went onto say " I sat at my desk today for 3 hours reading through all of your charts trying to figure one small thing out and I relived all of what you went through with the high dose IL-2 and how many times you went into heart failure and yet still begged for another bag. I wish I could wipe out this disease so that you and everyone else would never have to suffer another day with it." And this comes from one of the top Melanoma doctors. Tammy I am sending you and Bryce and that adorable baby the biggest warmest hug my dear friend!!!
Much Love,
Christine Uporsky
I think about you and Bryce all the time, and you're always in my prayers. God is getting some SERIOUS Dave prayer spam over this. I just want you to remember that you are doing everything right, and you are doing everything you can. This goes for both of you. Keep strong. Keep up the fight. We love you very much.
-Dave
Tammy,
I am Reed Cowan's mother, Judy. I remember meeting you at USU graduation many years ago. I remember thinking then what a great young woman you were. You are now a very brave, valiant mother and wife. Your faith is very important in this journey and each time I read an entry from your blog I am amazed at your courage and strength. I believe in miracles and prayer. You have many prayers coming your way and I hope you can feel them all. You, your sweet husband, Bryce, and your little daughter will continue to be in our prayers.
Sincerely,
Judy Cowan
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